Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Too Much To Blog

It's been way too long since I posted anything. It's been a crazy time in my life. Since I last blogged my daughter got married, my husband was in and out of the hospital and I've had to face some sobering truths regrading the economy and it's impact on my service-based business!

Suffice it to say that I have come closer to my Heavenly Father in the past 2 months than I ever knew possible. I have come to know how much He loves me. How willing He is to support me in the midst of my trials.

One experience I had during this time I will share. We've been having a very wet season here in Colorado. A little unusual for us. Every afternoon it was storming. A lot of rain. It really is welcomed because we've been in a drought for several years. I was thinking about how a lot of people were complaining about the rain though. For me, however, I was loving it. I love the rain. I love how it seems to clean everything around me up. I was out driving in the rain one afternoon and thinking how much I loved how everything around me was so green and alive. Then I thought of the "storm" that I was in the middle of. My life. My burdens that, at the moment, seemed so overwhelming. I was fearful for my future. For the future of my family. And somehow the two things connected. Although it was raining outside, I was able to see the beauty that the rain brought. I realized that I needed to focus on the beauty that my trials would bring. And then I felt it. The love of my Heavenly Father. He bouyed me up. The circumstances that I was in did not change, but my focus did.

I have learned that there is a law of opposition in play. I have learned that the deeper the trials that we are asked to bear, the closer Heavenly Father can pull us closer to Him. At one point a friend said that she wished that she could remove the trial from me. I told her to not wish for that. It is through such difficulties that I have come closer to God. That I have been able to feel Him and His angels bear me up. I would not trade that for anything!

I do not ask for trials. I do not go seeking for them. But I am profoundly grateful for the experiences! If we didn't have trials, why would we petition our God for His Grace? If we didn't petition for His Grace, how could we know--truly KNOW--that He is there for us, that He loves us, that we are His child and that He will not leave us alone. These things I know and I am so grateful to know it!