I bought a new cd this week. It's become something of a tradition for me to go to Deseret Book after being at the temple and buy a "treat" for myself. This week I picked up Hilary Week's new cd, If I Only Had Today. Something about it just "looked" like it'd be what I needed. The photography on the insert is awesome. Makes me want to find a pianist and take her into some beautiful meadow with her piano. . .well, maybe I'll find a violinist!!!
Anyway, I listened to it yesterday and there's a song called, "Just Let Me Cry" that has immediately wrapped itself around my heart. I can't figure out how to get it on here for you to listen to, but if you go to Hilary's website you can listen to a little snipit there. Just click here to listen (btw, the entire album is awesome! You should get it. . .money well spent for sure!)
Here's the lyrics. And can I just say that it is EXACTLY what I needed this week. I've been caught up in worrying about being so emotional about something that is so far in the past. . .yet still such a constant source of pain. I worry about how my emotions will affect those around me. I don't want to appear weak or unstable in my faith. I don't want to make other feel uncomfortable when I display moments of emotion. Anyway. . .here's the lyrics.
I believe that everything happens for a reason
We're not just tossed by the wind or left in the hands of fate
But sometimes life sends a storm that's unexpected
And we're forced to face our deepest pain
When I feel the heartache begin to pull me under
I dig my heels in deep and I fight to keep my ground
Still at times the hurt inside grows stronger
And there's nothing I can do but let it out
Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry
When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me
I understood that there would be a chance that it would break
But I know He knows exactly how I'm feeling
And I know in time He'll take the pain away
But for now
Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry
I have felt joy the kind that makes my heart want to sing
And so my tears are not a surrender
I'll feel that way again
But for now
For this moment
Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Thank you, Hilary Weeks, for writing such a perfect song for me!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Happy Birthday Laurie Ann
Today, May 6th is my daughter Laurie Ann's birthday. She would be 16 today. Here are a few pictures of her.
This is in Washington in our front yard. I loved the Azalea bushes that were there and so did Laurie Ann. She loved flowers. And bugs. Anything to do with nature!
Easter, 1995. Laurie left us on May 31st, 1995.
With Grandpa Grant in Colorado. Grandpa loved to garden and Laurie loved to harvest! They made a good team! I like to imagine that they get to enjoy lots of time together now!
I love this picture because it shows how light her eyes were.
The blanket really belonged to Erika. But Laurie bonded with it and Erika let her have it. It was Laurie's prized possession!
This was taken in Colorado. I love the love that is evident in this picture!
Water fun! (love that Laurie didn't have a diaper on! Cute little butt cheeks!)
The girls loved to play outside together (this is in Washington)
(just a few more. . .although I have a LOT more that i could share.)
Christmas 1994 (I love this pic)
Laurie's birthday is May 6th. Here she is turning 2. We celebrated Carlie's and Laurie's birthdays together (Carlie's is May 5th). 25 days later (on May 31st) . . .Laurie left us.
Here's the birthday girls! Laurie LOVED her cake!!! Ask Carlie about the cat. It's a VERY funny story!
Carlie and Laurie having fun in the forest.
Thanks for looking. It's emotional for me, but also very therapeutic to be able to share. So thanks for helping me "heal"!!
This is in Washington in our front yard. I loved the Azalea bushes that were there and so did Laurie Ann. She loved flowers. And bugs. Anything to do with nature!
Easter, 1995. Laurie left us on May 31st, 1995.
With Grandpa Grant in Colorado. Grandpa loved to garden and Laurie loved to harvest! They made a good team! I like to imagine that they get to enjoy lots of time together now!
I love this picture because it shows how light her eyes were.
The blanket really belonged to Erika. But Laurie bonded with it and Erika let her have it. It was Laurie's prized possession!
This was taken in Colorado. I love the love that is evident in this picture!
Water fun! (love that Laurie didn't have a diaper on! Cute little butt cheeks!)
The girls loved to play outside together (this is in Washington)
(just a few more. . .although I have a LOT more that i could share.)
Christmas 1994 (I love this pic)
Laurie's birthday is May 6th. Here she is turning 2. We celebrated Carlie's and Laurie's birthdays together (Carlie's is May 5th). 25 days later (on May 31st) . . .Laurie left us.
Here's the birthday girls! Laurie LOVED her cake!!! Ask Carlie about the cat. It's a VERY funny story!
Carlie and Laurie having fun in the forest.
Thanks for looking. It's emotional for me, but also very therapeutic to be able to share. So thanks for helping me "heal"!!
Paul's Epistle to the Phillipians, Conclusion
I have been so busy that I neglected to conclude this little series on Paul's letter to the Phillippians. Sorry about that! There are just a few more points that I wanted to bring out.
In chapter 4, verse 11 of Phillippians, Paul says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
I think this is a great challenge for our world, our families, us individually. To learn to be content in every situation. not that we don't set goals and strive for better, but that we don't whine & complain about everything! We should count our blessings and be grateful for what we do have. It is so easy to see the negative side of everything. But everything also has a positive side. We must train ourselves to be content in "whatsoever state" we are in! In verse 6, Paul basically teaches us that we shouldn't be overly concerned about anything! President Hinckley taught this very well by his example. He always believed that everything would work out. . .one way or another, everything will be ok.
Verse 12 of chapter 4: "I know both how to be abased and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Paul had learned how to be humble and accept difficult circumstances as well as how to be humble and receive of the Lord's abundance!
The last great thing that I want to touch upon here is that we can do anything because we are strengthened by Christ. Chapter 4, verse 13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." What a GREAT thing! I am reminded of a talk from our recent Stake Conference. The speaker said that the best way to get strength in the midst of our trials is through our faith in Jesus Christ. He and He alone can give us the strength to accomplish, to succeed, to come off conquerer! I know this to be true. I know He can and will help us through whatever we must pass through. He will help us endure through all that we must live with. He loves us just that much. He wants to have us back to live with Him again.
How grateful I am for our scriptures. For the Apostle Paul. For his teachings, his example, his willingness to be so much for so many. I am so grateful for the Gospel. For all that I am given daily. I want to stay the course! I want to keep the faith! I want to finish the race!
In chapter 4, verse 11 of Phillippians, Paul says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
I think this is a great challenge for our world, our families, us individually. To learn to be content in every situation. not that we don't set goals and strive for better, but that we don't whine & complain about everything! We should count our blessings and be grateful for what we do have. It is so easy to see the negative side of everything. But everything also has a positive side. We must train ourselves to be content in "whatsoever state" we are in! In verse 6, Paul basically teaches us that we shouldn't be overly concerned about anything! President Hinckley taught this very well by his example. He always believed that everything would work out. . .one way or another, everything will be ok.
Verse 12 of chapter 4: "I know both how to be abased and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Paul had learned how to be humble and accept difficult circumstances as well as how to be humble and receive of the Lord's abundance!
The last great thing that I want to touch upon here is that we can do anything because we are strengthened by Christ. Chapter 4, verse 13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." What a GREAT thing! I am reminded of a talk from our recent Stake Conference. The speaker said that the best way to get strength in the midst of our trials is through our faith in Jesus Christ. He and He alone can give us the strength to accomplish, to succeed, to come off conquerer! I know this to be true. I know He can and will help us through whatever we must pass through. He will help us endure through all that we must live with. He loves us just that much. He wants to have us back to live with Him again.
How grateful I am for our scriptures. For the Apostle Paul. For his teachings, his example, his willingness to be so much for so many. I am so grateful for the Gospel. For all that I am given daily. I want to stay the course! I want to keep the faith! I want to finish the race!
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